The Penguin Puzzler

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I like the Muppets too!

For a while some of you may have heard of a missing episode, or unaired, or even heard of it as the pilot. This is not the case. The actual episode is classified as a "Christmas Tape", these were made by the team as gifts for people or for the crew.
For ages I have been looking for this script as it is so funny; well I find it funny.
( I have hidden it behind the cut to protect the innocent. )

Catching up with the old web comics this one came to light Pre-Orders.

I had a friend who used to work in a comp. game store and on days of big pre-releases, such as the incoming one for HALO 3, we did get the game in before-hand, sometimes as much as a fortnight beforehand.

However, as Ethan so deftly demonstrates A) it is annoying when you get people asking for the game beforehand and B) it also breaks the agreement set up between manufacturer i.e. Sony, Microsoft etc and the store.

Remember pre-selling is bad mmmm'kay.

With the permission of twentypence, I am posting to let all of their friends and associates know of the recent tragedy that has befallen them both.
Today they were having their Porch re-roofed. The roofers used a heat source to sort the Flashing out. The heat unfortunately was not protected from entering the home and shortly after the roofers leaving, the Study was alight.

Fortunately autumn_storm Bester and the Pippin got out safe, although the Study is gutted and the house has suffered water damage from the damping down. Another fortunate thing is that the Fire station is two miles down the road.

This is to let everyone know that they are safe and sound and currently held up in a warm location courtesy of the roofing company.

I am wishing them well.

Our sandwich van does Curly Wurlys!!

That is all.

This hasn't happened in a while, but this is one of those rare updates that happens every so often in my life, because it is likely to be long, I have decided to hide somethings behind the cuts so that you can choose which bits to read. (Aren't I nice?)

( Transformers )

Lets move on now ( The Job. )

The Cam, ( or how to mess things up )

( Car-Pooling. )
Thats about all really that I can think of at the moment.
Take care all, you are all in my thoughts, just some more than others at the moment

Move along, nothing to se hear. No puzzle today folks.

The material to build the Taj Mahal was brought in from various parts of India by a fleet of 1000 elephants.

Answer: Inkstand.

Which word has kst in the middle, in the beginning, and at the end?

The first owner of the Marlboro Company, Wayne McLaren, died of lung cancer.

Answer: Kerry is a dwarf and couldn't reach the 35th floor button unless he had his umbrella.

Kerry Queen qorks on the 35th floor of an office building. MOst mornings Kerry will ride the elevator as far as the 25th floor, then climb the stairs to the 35th floor. On the mornings that it is raining however, Kerry will ride the elevator to the 35th floor. Since Kerry is neither fond of exercise nor superstitious, what could be the reason for his strange behaviour?

On average, a car driver will swear or blashpheme 32,025 times in their lifetime while driving.

Answer: Shadow said that he hadn't placed any coins into the phone, so simply arranging for every coin in the box to be finger-printed would either clear his alibi or admit his guilt.

Sam Sham put the phone back on the cradle and stepped out of the phone box. Just the Detective Shadow pulled his bicycle in front of Sam and demanded whom he had just called. Sam replied "I didn't call anyone. I was about to make a call, when I realised that I had no change on me, I was just going to get some, when you pulled up."
Shadow stared at Sam "we just received a ransom call from this box."
Sam quickly responded "I saw a tall man leave this booth, not 30 seconds earlier. He was wearing speedos, but as the beach is only a street or so away, I didn't think anything of it." What simple test could Shadow arrange to be positive that Sam Sham did not place the call?

Bruce Lee was so fast, that they actually had to slow a film down so you could see his moves. That is the opposite of the norm.

Answer: 21.

The Titan Arum or Titan Info

If seven people meet each other and each shakes hands only once with each of the others, how many handshakes will there have been?

The titan arum flower is the largest flower in the world and gives off a horrible odor that smells like rotting flesh when it blooms.

Answer: One 1/4 pound. The answer becomes clear if you remove one can of beer from each side. You would then have two cans of beer on one side and 1/2 a pound of gold on the other.

A balance scale is perfectly balanced when there is three cans of beer on one side of the scale and one can of beer and a one half pound bar of gold on the other. Since all the beer cans are the same, with small advisory note advising not to microwave, how much does one can of beer weigh?

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. Therefore, its' sunrise is West to East.

Answer: Neon would have to teleport himself, or arrive in some manner indicative of instantaneous transport, In order for Neon to achieve 200Mph for the average for the entire trip, he would need to travel at 200mph for five hours, he has already used that five hours, so would need to be at Electron City instantaneously.

Neon Slick is travelling in his new sports car from the city of Proton to Electron city. The distance between the two cities is 1000 miles. When Neon reached the halfway point, he realized he had been averaging 100mph. How much faster would he need to travel if he wanted to average 200mph for the entire trip?

The cartoon character Popeye was actually based on a real person named Frank "Rocky" Fiegel who was a tough guy who was quite similar to Popeye physically.

Answer: Because Penguins are inhabitants of the Southern Hemisphere, or the Antartic.

Even if they are starving, Natives in the artic will never eat penguins eggs, why?

Penfold once came second in a Penfold look-a-like contest.

Answer: With two vertical cuts in place, a horizontal cut across the middle results in an eight piecer.

The "Soul-Ace" hotel was holding its' anniversary party and all eight of the regular guests were invited. The proprietor ordered a cake and cut it into four slices since she expected only half to turn up. Much to her dismay, all of the invited guests arrived, which meant she needed an eight slice cake. Even though the cake was already divided into four pieces, with just one cut she made eight equal parts. How?

It takes the Hubble telescope about 97 minutes to complete an orbit of the Earth. On average, the Hubble uses the equivilent amount of energy as 30 household lightbulbs to complete an orbit.

Answer: £305, 3 £5, 3 £10, 3 £20 and 3 £50 with the final draw being a £50. Yet still not enough to buy a PS3.

If you were blindfolded and placed in front of a large bowl containing numerous notes to the values of £50, £20, £10, and £5. Presuming you had the chance to remove any number of notes, one at a time, until you have four notes of the same denomination, what is the largest amount you could draw?

Elmo, a puppet from the children's television show "Sesame Street," testified on April 23,2002 during a House Labor, Health and Human Services, Education Appropriations Committee hearing on Capitol Hill in Washington. He was testifying in favour of school music education. He is the first puppet in history to testify on Capitol Hill.

Answer: Nothing, I won't put it as rude as some people!, as the match requires a small amount of Oxygen to ignite, that isn't present, so no big boom.

ION: My thoughts are with autumn_storm this morning and hope she is feeling better. Hugs.

If you were to step into a sealed room, in breathing apparatus, which was then filled with 100% methane gas and strike a match, what would happen?

The largest pig on record was a Poland-China hog named Big Bill, who weighed 2,552 lbs.

Answer: Manhole covers are round so that a) they can not fall into a manhole as easily as a square one, and b) they are easier to move by rolling.

Why are manhole covers round, give me two reasons.

Maine is the toothpick capital of the world.

Answer: One hour. If you recieved the pills at 14:00, you would take the first then, the second at half past and the third and final at 15:00.

If a doctor gives you three pils and tells you to take one every half an hour, how long will they last?

The recommended daily amount of caffiene is equivalent to 4 cups of normal coffee or 5 cups of tea.

Answer: Abdullah added his own camel to the 17. The eldest son then took half, 9, the middle son then took a third, 6, and the eldest took one ninth, 2, this left Abdullah one camel, hiw own, which he rode away on.

An old Arab whom is about to die, informs his sons that he will leave them his camels. To his eldest son, he leaves half his camels. To his second son he leaves one third and to his youngest son he leaves one ninth. After the old man died, the sons went to get their inheritence, but discovered that there were 17 camels. They did not want to kill or sell any of the animals, and they could not think of a way of meeting their fathers Will. Just then Abdullah came along on his camel, seeing the concern upon their faces, he stopped and asked what the problem was, and the sons explained the problem of dividing the camels to their fathers wishes. Abdullah thought for a moment and explained the answer to their predicament. How did he solve this problem?

In 1996, the largest fulgurite was excavated in Florida USA, with two branches extending down from the strike point, 5.2m and 4.9m in length.

Answer: 16 apples.

If three plums are worth 2 apples, how many apples are 24 plums worth?

Joseph Love of Kilifi Plantations Ltd, Kenya, milked 531 litres from 30 cows in one day, on the 25th of august 1992.

Answer: 9 Minutes.

How long will it take to cut a wooden log into ten equal pieces if it takes one minute to make each cut?

There are places in Saskatchewan called Elbow, Eyebrow, and Drinkwater.

Answer: Cecils body was found wearing mitts, so unless he put his mitts back on whilst falling down the face of a cliff, it would have been nigh on impossible for his finger prints to have been found on the rock that killed Twyla.